You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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