At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
