Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It was confusing and full of hummus
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
