literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
