Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
