He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I believe in your delicious
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
