Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
