you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
