Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
