Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
