lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
