what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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