Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
