Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
