Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Non-Jews are for practice
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
