Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
