Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
