What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
