I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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