I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
