Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
