Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
