Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
