You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
