Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize
