i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
