And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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