I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
