Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
