Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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