Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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