I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
