he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
