dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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