well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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