Yo dont text me then not text me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
