Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
