Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
