so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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