I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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