I cannot find my penis.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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