Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
