i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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