Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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