Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize