You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
