Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
