Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
