I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
wow bdsm is so cute
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
