well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
