I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I got inside last night via doggy door
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
