If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
