and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm sobbing to NWA
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize