Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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