It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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