so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
