I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize