you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
