You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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